Adult Food Review: Heller's Christmas Chipolata

Behold, the bringer of controversy

It sometimes seems these days corporations are more interested in pissing people off with ill conceived novelty products than actually making money. And, by and large, judging by popular millennial echo chamber 'Twitter', many companies are doing a pretty good job. This became most apparent to me this evening on my purchase of Heller's new Christmas Chipolata, a 'delicious, fruity sausage' promising hints of Apple, sultana, currant and mixed citrus peel.

On my way home from work tonight, I popped in to New World for a quick sausage purchase. Seeing a new Heller's festive product, with the 'Free Farmed Pork' sticker emblazoned across the front, I decided I'd be game to try anything once and grabbed them. When I got home, I realised the reason the pork had been free farmed was to give the pigs at least a shred of dignity before being made into such an abomination of a meat product. For these Christmas Chipolata contained fruit mince, one of the most polarising food products of Twitter. Seriously, look at the ingredients!

Also: Festive gold meat tray!

Still, I'd bought the things, so, at least purely for science, I may as well try the things so others may avoid my mistake.

The sausages certainly looked the part, slim, pork coloured fingers, with small little nodules of fruit protruding through the thin skin. Into the oven on bake for thirty minutes, possibly slowly too long, and they still looked not too different from your standard pork sausage. Scent wise, the pork strongly came through as well, but with weird undertones of orange rind and currants. Cutting the Chipolata in half, I was greeted by little nuggets of fruit peering back at me.

Taste wise, it was almost a disappointment how much these tasted just like your average pork sausage. Sure, occasionally you might catch a shrivelled currant or a hint of citrus between your teeth, but I found the maligned fruit mince to be almost disconcertingly absent in taste. The texture was there occasionally, which added a strange sensation of eating a meat product with little squishy bits in the middle. That said, it wasn't really true fruit mince present, but singular pieces of diced up fruit. That said, I'd say If you wanted a true taste of what was promised on the packaging, I'd probably advise buying a bag of homebrand pre-cooked pork bangers, and chucking in a pack of raisins.

So do these sausages really deserve to be so hated? Probably not. But do they really warrant a special packaging and a hefty price tag of $1.33 a sausage? Again, probably not. There's better products on the market with much less gimmicky tastes. But they've got people talking Hellers, and that's probably going to help them bring home the bacon.

4.5/10

Balloon animals of New Zealand: the overseas visitor edition

First things first. You'll remember, if you're an avid reader of Netflix and Children, my search for new Zealand's number one historical joke book, despite being unsure of its existence. And I can confirm, that yes, I am one step closer, for Mr Jason Gunn has replied to my correspondence! Indeed, Netflix and Children has the exclusive scoop that (a) Mr Gunn did compile a book of jokes in the early 90s, which was at the pre world-wide-web time, a lucrative earner, and (b) that he is indeed miffed at being incessantly passed over in his attempts to secure a (admittedly well deserved) knighthood for services to the gunge industry.

So, I implore you, please, if any reader should have a copy of this book, please let me know, for potential reviewing purposes.

And now, on to serious business.

Those with adequately functioning mid-term memories may remember a time last year when the more affluent suburbs of central Auckland were struck with a pestilence, one which restricted their travel with fresh fruit stuffs outside the confines of their immediate neighbourhood. How the beautiful people howled at the indignity of having to pre-prepare their organic kale and acai berry smoothies before heading to the crossfit gym. Gradually, restrictions were loosened, and a mango could be carried between Ponsonby and Herne Bay, so long as it bore a thick layer of cling film and Faro Fresh branding. Today, the plague has lifted, and the affluent Jafas are able to take their five plus a day to work, school or play once more. Here is my balloon depiction of the 2015 Grey Lynn fruit fly, laying siege to New Zealand's horticulture industry.

Still, it could have been much worse for the rich and well to do, had it been the Queensland Quinoa Fly, the Fijiian Moet and Chandon Grub or the South American Ferrari Weevil that had been discovered lurking in Remuera.

Classic book review: The Munch Bunch Series

I loved the Munch Bunch as a kid. Before the age of seven or so, my two go to series that never failed me were the Mr Men, and the group of anthromorphic fruit, vegetables, and later a few select nuts who had escaped from certain doom at the green grocers, and lived at the bottom of the garden around the shed. Part of the allure was the almost unattainable aim of collecting the whole series, but
just as you thought you'd  completed the set on the back of the book, the publishers would release
more!

Anyway, Luke discovered all my old books at my parents' house today, so we've been having loads of read alongs. I'd forgotten so much, but generally the rules seem to be:

1. All the berries are naughty, but don't pay much in the way of consequences.
Billy Blackberry and his friend Scruff Gooseberry decided to build a tunnel for the purposes of stealing the stock of the local confectionaire in order to fully stock their own shop. Despite the seemingly incriminating evidence of the entire inventory of one shop turning up in the only other similar outlet in the neighbourhood overnight, it actually takes several days for local constable Merv Marrow to overhear a confession. But instead of arresting him on the stop, Merv puts together an elaborate plan involving secret tunnels and diversions to land Billy and Scruff directly in jail for a lengthy sentence of... 'Not long.'

Rozzy Raspberry got it a little bit harsher, though her punishment could have been labelled slightly more inappropriate and dangerous when she was locked out of her house overnight for playing a few pranks on her friends.

2. Racial stereotypes are OK 
The Munch Bunch have no difficulties making sweeping stereotypical generalisations of whole populations. To start off with, there's Ollie the cowardly French onion, who's always crying.

Pedro the Orange, who wears a sombrero and strums an oversized mariachi style guitar.

Lizzie the Leek, meek, subservient and wearing a Welsh hat.

Supercool the cool cucumber, who seems to be a caricature of a Rasta, with his oversized hat and glasses, though appearances can be deceptive I suppose.

I guess it probably took all the restraint the author and illustrator had when they created the New Zealand spin off character Charlie Kumara (pals with the other Kiwi special releases, Kiri Kiwifruit, Ted Tamarillo and Patty Passionfruit)

3. So are inappropriate fancy dress costumes
Olly hosts a fancy dress party, presumably one of those frat-house-style ones with a bad taste theme. Tom Tomato decides to try on some cultural misappropriation with a Native American headdress. But, holy crap, is that Professor Peabody behind him, one upping the inappropriateness in a Ku Klux Klan hood?

4. Quackerry is all the rage, medically
Nurse Plum is the resident medical staff, keeping a small hospital to treat any injuries or illnesses which may strike the Bunch. There's no doctor in sight, but that's OK, some nurses are plenty competent enough to manage on their own. Nurse Plum, however, does have an approach to medicine which could be  described  as unconventional, at least.

Rozzy Raspberry, who as you may remember is a bit of a trickster, presents with an arrow through the head, having been 'shot by Indians' (there's that cultural sensitivity being laid on thick again). It's a trick, of course, but never mind that for now. Rather than preparing for neurosurgery, or, you know, examining her patient adequately, Nurse Plum is quick to lay Rozzy Raspberry up in bed and prescribe a course of  milk and sweets. You may think this is just the good nurse being kind, but no, she does actually say 'this will make you better in no  time'. Of course, th injury being a cruel jape, the worst thing that happened was Rozzy got locked outside for the night, but were an actual traumatic brain injury to present, the moral of this story would be a lot darker than 'be nice to your friends'.

5. The Munch Bunch diet is awful
You may have noticed this already. Obviously, any attempt to eat a healthy diet with five plus fruit and vegetable servings daily was going to end in grim canibalism.  So the Munch Bunch turn to sweets. A new sweet shop opens, with 'every type of sweet imaginable', and the whole town has turned out. Not only that, but when sweets start going missing frim said shop, it's a tragedy  that resonates throughout the township, enough to bring several townsfolk together to thwart the thieves to end the biggest local crisis since  the last spring harvest.

And we've already addressed the sweets as medicine fiasco.

This sort of book may have been OK back in the loose eighties, but you're probably safer sticking to reading your toddler Game of Thrones these days. That said, at least the skateboarding Rasta cucumber isn't too cool to use appropriate safety gear.

Wattie's for baby, Apple, kumara and mango

Another day, another random assortment of fruit with a token vegetable thrown in, puréed and served in a small vacuum sealed pack. If you can't tell by my decreasing blogging frequency, I'm starting to tired of these fruity concoctions, but never fear! Meaty feeds are on the horizon! So let's hurry up and get this one out of the way.

Just in case it had somehow missed your attention, it's International Baby Wearing Week this week, and what an exciting prospect it promises to be! If for any reason you are unfamiliar with the ancient art of baby wearing, it essentially involves strapping a small child (could be a toddler, doesn't even need to be a baby) to your person using cloth or a purpose designed carrier. And then doing things with the two hands that you presumably have free. It recently became news worthy because Ryan Reynolds did it wrong, and then lots of people told him he was doing it wrong, and he got a bit sad (that's a Daily Mail link by the way, if you'd rather avoid it. And I wouldn't blame you). I'd also point out he called his daughter James, which is possibly an even bigger error than the way he wore her.

Anyway, I write this not because it has anything to do with this Wattie's product, but because baby wearing is another buzz word which I cynically think might get me more page views. On with the food review.

Contains: Apple (62%), Kumara (20%), Mango (11%), Water, Cornflower

Just so you know, it is specified on the packet that water is added for cooking and to ensure appropriate texture. Quite a lot of mango, though, probably the food with the highest content of mango other than in a mango.

Emily's reaction: Emily quite enjoyed this one, despite the odd combination of ingredients. There were several false finishes, each punctuated with a shrill, loud demand for father to keep shovelling. That said, it can't have been too filling given she was chowing down on a bag label within the hour.

First impressions: Well, it's a deep yellow colour, and looks slightly granular in appearance. Not sure there's much else to say.

Bouquet: You know what this smelled like? Tea. Not like the meal tea, which might include apples, mangoes and kumara. Not Turkish Apple tea, or chamomile tea, which do somewhat have a not unexpected apple-ey aroma. But more like a Ceylon or English breakfast teabag that has been allowed to stew for longer than it ought to have. Exactly like the sort of tea served by Brittish Airways, with a dash of milk and certainly no sugar to corrupt it.

Taste test: It doesn't taste like tea, though. It tastes like apple, and frankly I that's pretty much exactly what I was expecting. Cos after a month of tasting baby food, I have learned two things: 1) they really will throw any ingredients they can find together no matter how bizarre it sounds, babies are dumb and they won't know any better, and 2) no matter what ingredients are included, if there's more than 50% apple, it's going to taste pretty strongly of apple. Granted, the 11% mango does shine through pretty strongly too, and the kumara does add to an interesting texture. But this is apple for most of the way down.

Overall: 6.5/10. Not bad. Probably not my first choice, but could be an awful lot worse.

Enjoy: With a small pack of biscuits on your flight out of Heathrow.

12 reasons your baby NEEDS to eat Rafferty's Garden pear and Superberries: number 11 will leave you speechless!

And, as promsised, after a short hiatus, here comes part two of a continuing series on stage one and two baby purées with stupid ingredients. Today: Acai berries! I had little idea what these (apparently small, black) nuggets were prior to picking this out of the cupboard on a trip to dinner with the in laws today. Who eats these things? Do they have the same powers as eating quinoa and doing crossfit, in that they make you insufferable for anyone else to be around? WTF are they doing in my baby daughter's food? I felt some research was in order, so I logged in to the font of all well being knowledge, the Global Healing Centre, and found these amazing super fruits have not one, not two, but TWELVE super benefits!

1. Heart health
Are you worried about the health of your under-one-year-old's heart? Of course you are. But how much red wine should you be giving them to ensure their ticker remains in tip top shape until they're able to legally buy their own? Great news! That need not concern you any more as Acai berries have been proven to be just as beneficial as a glass of Pinot a day!

2. Resistant to harmful organisms
This sounds promising, but we need some more info on what organisms these are.... E. coli? Sharks? 14 year olds with home built clocks? Details, GHC!

3. Aids in weight loss
Very important if your six month old has leg rolls like mine does, with baby swim lessons starting in a few months these berries will help her achieve her ideal rash suit body. Helps maintain a lower weight too, probably cos you're stuck eating tiny little berries and not much else.

4. Promotes skin health
No mention of what skin conditions this treats, but infantile eczema can be a bitch.

5. Helps with digestive upset
A traditional source of dietary fibre, though when mashed into a purée, how much of this fibre remains is debatable. Might be better off with baby oats, but why take the chance, given they're not officially that super?

6. Reduces irritation
If your baby is grumpy, colicky, or just generally gets on your wick, this could be the ideal answer! I feel calmer for having tried this already!

7. Improved cellular health 
With plentiful antioxidants, general well being at a CELLULAR LEVEL are bound to leave you buzzing, and you know that must be good because it sounds sciency. And it helps get rid of free radicals, which is great cos that Only Get What You Give song really grates after a while. (OK, that's New Radicals, but I'm gonna leave that line in anyway)

8. May help fight cancer
Though if you do have cancer, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy are probably going to give you a better fighting chance than eating sachets of baby purée

9. Anti-aging effects
Along with the weight loss benefits, this is likely going to be every baby's major concern once they hit the big 6 month milestone.

10. Energy boost
Every parent's primary concern, that their small child just doesn't have enough energy to continue causing the havoc that is part of their daily routine. However, a cheaper way to provide this adding stimulation may be instant coffee with a few extra spoons of coffee.

11. Better sex
No further questions, M'Lord.

12.  Improves mental function
There are great studies showing some early promise of boosting mental functioning in menopausal women eating Acai berries, and I'm sure the correlation is clear!

Anyway, with all that said and done, we need to make sure that Rafferty's Garden Pear and Superberries. actually tastes the part. The super berries alluded to in the name are not just the Acai (2%), but also blueberries (8%) and black currants (2%) (is a currant actually a berry? I don't know, this could be cheating.) The balance,  a massive 88%, is made up by pear. A thin, purple liquid on the spoon, this looked like something that would be quite pleasing to insert into the mouth. Emily certainly started with relish, but ran out of steam with a hyperactive brother taking precedence over finishing her meal.

On the nose, the blueberries and black currants dominate in a rich, deep and alluring bouquet. I haven't a clue what the famous Acai berries would actually smell like, so whether or not they add to this olfactory symphony is unclear. Certainly, however, high expectations were drawn for the tasting.

A thin liquid gave a slightly disappointing texture on first impression. Small, sinewy cares granules o pear pulp were quite apparent on tasting, and indeed, the overarching taste was of a sweet Winter Nelis varietal. Delicious after-hints of the berry flavours did linger, however, perhaps giving off the false impression of further subspecies- raspberries? Boysenberries? The mind played several devious tricks. Overall, in keeping with Rafferty's Garen's other options, a tasty treat.

Overall: 9/10. Delicious, and who can ignore those 12 key benefits to consumption: though at 2%, one would imagine you would need to consume a few packets to enjoy them.

Enjoy: with life, knowing you are living to the fullest, the fittest, the slimmest, the happiest, and the healthiest that you possibly can.

Rafferty's Garden Apple, Pear and Cinnamon

This morning over breakfast, something magical happened. Something that made Emily go like this:

And if that photo isn't clickbait, then nothing will draw more readers to this blog.

Originally, I wasn't going to review Rafferty's Apple, Pear and Cinnamon. It seemed too obvious, given I had reviewed Wattie's stage one Apples yesterday. How could an apple food be that much different? How indeed.

The consumption of this food, however, does raise a thorny issue, that of food miles. Originally,I had only been reviewing foods made by New Zealand companies, the food manufacturing behemoth that is Wattie's, and the smaller, some would say hipper outfit of Only Organics. On the packaging, however, there was no escaping the bold proclamation 'MADE IN AUSTRALIA'. In these less than certain economic times, and with the warming environmental climate, surely we should be buying New Zealand made, and not food that has required the expenditure of who now show much in the way of fossil fuel to arrive on our fair shores? Sure, free trade, and the one would assume inevitable TPPA may mean an influx of cheaper, brighter foreign purées on our shelves, potentially at a cost much lower than our known, previously adored and trusted labels, but should we be trusting this, buying it at the expense of companies owned by Kiwi mums and dads, and further adding to the changing if our weather patterns? Certainly some issues to chew over, or at least swallow over, as chewing isn't really necessary with this offering.

Contains: Apple (60%), Pear (39.9%), Cinnamon (0.1%)
Great maths skills, Rafferty's Garden! No trying to pull wool over our eyes and having your ingredients add up to over 100%, like Wattie's did the other day!

Also, did you know some people will class cinnamon as a superfood? What is it with babyfood manufacturers and superfoods?

First Impression: I noted the apples on the packaging are closer to the eating varieties you would normal associate with a child's lunch, probably a Braeburn or a Royal gala, which gave the expectation of perhaps a sweeter product. The pear pictured appears  (haha, there's a pun for you right there!) to be a Packham, or perhaps a greener Doyenne du Commice, both firmer, juicier varietals which would be good for puréeing into a palatable product. Cinnamon sticks in an artistic bundle complete the packet art.

The purée itself is of a fairly standard texture: not too runny, but smooth in appearance. A pale yellow-brown colour was punctuated with darker flecks of brown, presumably the cinnamon shining through.

Emily's reaction: Well, I think the photo at the head of this column speaks volumes. This was eagerly anticipated, giant lunges onto the spoon removing the food before I had a chance to sequester more than a teaspoon full for myself. Certainly a strong favourite for Emily.

Bouquet: Strong apple flavours on the nose of this one, totally dominating over the submissive pear scent. A hint of spice lingered at the back of the nose. The bouquet was sweet and enticing.

Taste test: Simply delicious! A slightly thicker purée, but without the coarseness or granularity of other pear offerings. Although noticeable at first sight, the flecks of cinnamon simpy do not registrar by feel in the mouth. Again, big apple and pear components hit the palate immediately, landing a first round knock out blow, with a delicate hint of cinnamon capping off a simply devine tasting experience. The taste lingers tantalisingly in the mouth, without overstaying it's welcome.

Overall: 9.5/10. The only fault I can find in Rafferty's Garden's product is the distance it has travelled to be in our pantry. Taste-wise, simply clobbers Wattie's Apple out of the park. Six runs!

Enjoy with: Custard, a glass of a late harvest Muscat, and in front of an open fire with a loved one.

Watties for babies: Apple

I had reservations writing about Watties for babies' puréed apple. Although easily the most popular of Watties stage one foods, how much could actually be written about a can which is not only sourced from a single ingredient, but one that is so prevalent in our own daily diet? Then idealised that I didn't really have a choice: Watties Apple may be the Toyota Corolla of the baby food world, as compared to the Audi A4 that is Only Organic Pear, Purple carrot, Blueberry and Quinoa, but just because every New Zealander has driven a Corolla at some point, should its safety and drivability not be put up to the occasional scrutiny?

Early Friday breakfast seemed an ideal time to try this offering. So as Mum slept, and big brother amused himself in a box, Emily and I sat down.

Contains: Apples (100%), Vitamin C

What mathematical jiggery pokery is this Watties? You can't claim one ingredient constitutes 100% of the recipe! then go ahead and add a second ingredient? That's like giving 110% on the rugby field! it looks impressive, but in the end it's a load of self congratulatory BS! Unless you claim the vitamin C is present in the apple, in which case it's not really a separate ingredient, is it Watties?

First impressions: As I scrutinised the famous blue tin, something leapt out: only green Granny Smith apples were pictured. Whilst high in antioxidants, this seemed an unusual choice in sole ingredient due to it's higher acidity, and resulting tartness in taste. Sure, the Granny Smith does mellow with age, but as it ripens will become more yellow in colour than those apples pictured. This all added to the mystery within. With such intrigue, however, the familiar thin yellow-brown paste felt quite reassuring.

Emily's reaction: after a long night with only one feed three hours previously, Emily was ready for some breakfast action. Big brother was hooning around, and the dog provided plenty of additional distraction. As such, there were several pauses in the dining experience, but each was ended by a shrill demand for the shovelling to re-commence, and only by the time the bottom of the can was in sight was she truly satiated.

Bouquet: not entirely unexpectedly, it smelt of apples: sweet, fragrant and enticing me in to the tasting. 

Taste test:  A pleasant smooth, easy texture in the mouth, a relief after the granular texture of my last two tastings. The Granny Smith tartness does indeed come to the fore, but I feel I detect the sweetness of Braeburn, perhaps a Cox Orange. For authenticity, I compared to a Granny Smith in its raw state, and certainly the puréed form hinted at the addition of other varieties. The apples certainly taste as though skinned, so I imagine the fibre content in this product would be lacking. I think Watties could make improvements, possibly with the addition of a Pacific Rose or Pink Lady varietal, however given these are the pricier types of apple, I would probably expect this more in a premium range product.

Overall: A highly commendable 9/10. They say the proof is in the pudding, and in this case the pudding is a tin beautifully puréed apples. Delicious.

Enjoy with: A spitroast pork, if you've managed to forget the apple sauce. I think it would also make a more than passable base for home brewed cider.

Watties for Baby: Banana, mango, courgette, and pea

After last night's quinoa experiment, I think today was always going to be a bit of a let down. So I got home from work, and cracked into a sachet of Watties banana, mango, courgette and pea purée. First things first: this is stage two stuff, things are getting more serious. I wasn't sure what this levelling up of the food would really mean, other than coming in the red pack instead of the blue, possibly a thicker blend? More complex ingredients? Who knows.

Secondly, this was settled on for the ingredients... Four staples I am well familiar with, but never that I would imagine would cohabitate inside a little red pouch. A combination so out there, it's like different having peas in a pod, as well as bananas, mangos, and courgettes. This is the Celebrity Big Brother of baby foods.

So with many questions, chief amongst them WTF?, I dived in.

Ingredients: Banana (42%), Mango (20%), Courgette (14%), Peas (14%), Spinach, Cornflour, Vitamin C

Yesterday I noted Only Organic crammed as many super foods as possible into the name of their product, no matter how insignificant they are to the end product. Well. Of note here, spinach, considered by some to be the ORIGINAL super food, is not even named! Watties are obviously not aiming for the Remuera market with this one.

First impression: It's green. Quite a dark green. And with slightly darker green flecks. Trying to come up with a comparison, unfortunately nothing fits favourably, but the closest I can think of is pond algae. Bottoms up!

Emily's reaction: As is becoming a predictable pattern, now, she loved it. Obviously, being six months of age, she hasn't seen much pond algae in her time, so this didn't really affect her appetite. Half a packet was gone in superquick time, before the long day took effect and she lost interest.

Bouquet: Given the composition, it is unsurprising that banana and mango heavily influenced the nose. I tried hard to catch an influence of courgette or pea, hardly the most fragrant of vegetables at the best of times, but alas to no avail. Given the appearance of algal sludge , I found the strong banana scent slightly disturbing.

Taste test: The texture is certainly thicker than the previous Watties offerings I had tried, but not disimilar to that of the Only Organic purée. Again a fine coarseness announced itself on the tongue, and surprisingly, the small dark green specks were appreciable in the mouth. I managed to isolate  a few of these on the tongue, but alas was unable to elucidate whether they were the peas, the courgettes, or the unannounced spinach.

Taste-wise, this shit is bananas. B. A. N. A. N. A. S. Not even a brief aftertaste of mango at the back of the palate can distract from the terrific flavour of the star of this show. The vegetables may as well have not turned up, such is their degustatory anonymity. The cornflour does, however, lend itself to a pleasant texture in the mouth, and as such is a valuable supporting act.


Overall: 8/10. Like the odd couple comedy film Twins, this may seem like a strange combination, but ends up working well.

Enjoy: As a novel base to a banana milkshake which would have a good chance of bringing all the boys to the yard.

Only Organic Pear, Purple carrot, Blueberry and Quinoa

Mrs L Garbutt of Dunedin writes:

'I'd like to hear.... your professional opinion on WTF the point of 1.6% quinoa is, other than so they can add one more "super-food" to the label (Only Organic Pear Purple Carrot Blueberry and Quinoa - highly rated by my toddler, but possibly because she enjoys watching us gag over the smell of her gross blueberry poops rather than for its quinoa content).'

Great questions, Mrs Garbutt. As I'm sure you're aware, Quinoa is regarded as something of a 'super' grain. It gains this status through its ability to cause consumers to talk exclusively about how much they enjoy eating quinoa and how great it makes them as a person in general. It remains puzzling, therefore, that quinoa would be included in a foodstuff aimed exclusively at those who are yet to gain the neuronal power of speech, and thus are immune to its great benefits.

It's not just the quinoa, however, that warrants note here. I was initially intrigued by the inclusion of purple carrot, instead of the more common orange variety. However, my research has led me to the conclusion that actually, prior to the 17th century, most, if not all carrots were of the purple variety. This lends Only Organics' food extra hipster credential, by the inclusion of carrot in its original form prior to it becoming the popular vegetable it is today. This is carrot from when it was still underground.  

Add in the famed antioxidant properties of blueberries, and some disappointingly boring pear, and I suppose you have the perfect blend for health conscious 4-6 month olds.

Contains: Pear (30%), Water, Purple carrot (8%), Blueberries (2.5%), Quinoa (1.6%), Ground rice, Lemon juice concentrate, Vitamin C, Citric acid

Initial thoughts: The deep red/not quite maroon colour that greeted me at first squirt was not quite as expected, but not an unpleasant looking paste to consider putting in ones mouth.

Emily's reaction: this was second, nay, third offering for this meal. An initial course of home-puréed avocado (brief review: it looked, smelt and tasted like avocado) added to the super-foodiness of dinner, but was swiftly rejected by Emily. A brief interlude for breast-hydration was followed by a second sitting for solids. Emily's enthusiasm for the red purée was easy to see, and several missives to hurry up with the spooning were forthcoming. However, a recently breast-fed tummy can only take so much, and half a packet was left for my tasting purposes.

Bouquet: The most surprising bouquet of the week, insofar as it didn't really smell like any of the ingredients. Rich notes of black Doris plumb were forthcoming, with a delicate hint of summer berries lingering on the nose (mostly raspberry, however I would concede with a smattering of the 2.5% blueberry included)

Taste test: My initial thought was that this was a slightly thicker purée than the more established Watties offerings on the market. A slightly granular texture was evident on the tongue: at first I thought this to be the fabled, much publicised quinoa. On rolling the product around the mouth, I feel the pear to be the more likely culprit here. The initial taste is of the blueberries, strong on the palate, with a hint of pear. On holding in the oral cavity, a hint of carrot is revealed: whether a difference is made between this being of the hip purple variety, or whether a more widely recognised orange root vegetable would have given a similar sensation, I am unable to say. I was disappointed not to detect the nutty tones of the heavily advertised quinoa, but maybe the more refined buds of a resident of the Aro Valley, or other indigenous quinoa consumers would have more luck. Almost as an afterthought, a slightly tart note of lemon juice (from concentrate) lingers. All together, not an unpleasant experience at all.

Overall: 7.5/10. Pleasant, but for the reputation of the ingredients included, I was expecting much greater things. One to conspicuously feed your baby at Parnell Coffee Group.

Enjoy: As part of a healthy spirulina smoothie before heading out for a big session at the CrossFit gym.


Have you got a favourite baby food you would like me to review? Post in the comments, or twitter me at @lukeurmyson!

Watties for baby: Apple, peach and mango

Have you ever wondered what your baby's food tastes like? I know have, so I decided to do something revolutionary today and I tasted it, and it was amazing! So much so that I felt I needed to let other parents know what they were missing out on! Over the coming weeks and months, as my six month old graduates from stage one purée, on to firmer solids, formula, and what not, I'll endeavour to keep up with the play and have whatever she's having. Hell, if my two and a half year old picks up something interesting, I'll try grab a bite of that, too. Like stealing candy from babies, except with mushed up fruit, vegetables, grains, dairy products and shit. So, without further ado, tonight this little monster: 

Is eating this stuff:  

Contains: Apple (72%), Peach (14.9%), Mango (13%), vitamin C

First impressions: a safe start, I know Emily has eaten this without too much bother in the past. Three fruit, all of which I would eat in the native form, surely it's going to be at least palatable?

Emily's reaction: loved it. Had just woken up, and was particularly unhappy about having done so, so attempted to placate with food on the basis that it's the quickest way to my heart. The novelty of eating faced some strong competition from staring at the dog initially, but focus was quickly redirected. Chugged down, and ate the whole thing except for two teaspoons, which were surrendered to Dad for tasting purposes. Emily was not pleased by this at all.

Bouquet: The smell of this more than anything else made me think that tasting baby food would be a good idea to try. A pleasant, floral bouquet, with strong hints of mango particularly lingering on the nose.

Taste test: a smooth, almost fluid texture, not unlike a slightly thickened chocolate milkshake, but with a different flavour. Apple fans beware, the apple appears to be only here as a base to bulk out the product, with the taste being nigh on non-existent. The mango, once again, is the overpowering component, with quite a pleasing peach aftertaste lingering on the palate.

Score: 7/10, a pleasant bouquet leads you in, but the mango tones tend to overpower.

Would go well with: a chilled Chardonnay, or a light lager, on the deck on a lazy summer's day.