Wednesday, 24 January 2018

Revealed: All you need to know about Jacinda Ardern's pregnancy!

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has announced she and her partner are expecting their first child. The baby is due to be born in June. Ms Ardern plans to take six weeks off after birth, then return to work. That's it. Nothing else concerns you, it's a private matter. Stop complaining and get on with your own life. That goes for you, too, Mark Reason. There's plenty more stuff articles that need commenting on in disparaging terms, like this one about ageing reggae star Shaggy. Go on. Go to the bottom of it and type 'Who's Shaggy,' you big time wit. Or maybe pretend to confuse him with Scooby Doo's friend. It'll be hilarious, trust me.

No, seriously, that's it. You don't need to know any more, and we don't care about your reckons. OK Karl du Fresne? And whilst I'm at it, we don't care why you think that restaurant's racist menu was ok and oh my god why can't the PC brigade take a joke any more. Listen to people who actually were hurt by it, and who were offended by it instead. Or maybe you should get a twitter account and shout into the abyss where no one will hear you, and no one will answer you. Because no one cares.

Stop scrolling down. That's it. Go away. You too, Garner, with your lazy open letter format. And keep your Jimmy Carr fanboy defences to yourself, too. That joke about how Dunedin needs an earthquake was really distasteful. People are still hurting from that.

Stop it.