Sunday, 21 August 2016

Grown up food review: Whittaker's K Bar Choolate (lime and raspberry flavours)

I wanna take you to a K Bar
I wanna take you to a K Bar
I wanna take you to a K Bar
K Bar
K Bar

Not my words, but the words of early 2000s disco rock band Electric Six, slightly re-interpreted by myself. And words which, perhaps, would have made a better announcement of the forthcoming release of Whittaker's K-Bar flavoured chocolate than the image they did use.

About this time they realised it was lucky they hadn't exclusively used white chocolate

That's right, though, Whittaker's have taken the nostalgic tooth breaking toffee, made it a little softer, and encased it in their dark and milk chocolate. Not all their flavours, mind. After much trial and error, Whittaker's have chosen, apparently, the 'best ' three flavours, a deeply subjective, some would say wrong, selection of raspberry, lime and pineapple. I used to be a big fan of the blackcurrant flavour, however I was then exposed to other taste sensations, and realised that orange is the new blackcurrant.

Anyway, the big release date is tomorrow morning. But because my local supermarket is cool/slightly incompetent, I've managed to score a couple of bars, purely for research purposes. So behold, the first review of Whittaker's K Bar chocolate.

So new they're still using the Jellytip chocolate stands

The first bar is lime in milk chocolate. I'm a big lime fan: sliced in Corona, garnishing a gin and tonic, or mixed with lemon and vodka, all perfect tastes, so I was pretty amped for this. Whittaker's are renowned for their milk chocolate. Even Nigella Lawson endorses it, and she knows a thing or two about addictive substances. So I was hopeful that the two would complement each other perfectly.

Unfortunately, the creamy milk chocolate all but obliterates any tangy limey zest. Sure, if you break the chocolate open and lick the gooey centre out, the citrus flavours are there, but unless you have a very small tongue, you're going to have difficulty. So on the whole, this ain't really a bar of chocolate I'd go out of my way to buy. As chance would have it, I didn't actually have to go out of my way to buy this: the stand was between the fruit aisle and the meat, but to be honest I would probably go out of my way in order to buy a more exciting flavour, or a bar of milk chocolate without an indiscernible goo in the middle.

Raspberry in dark chocolate, however, is where the magic lies. The flavours complement perfectly, the bitter 72% cacao set perfectly against sweet berry flavours. Biting it in half, the bright pink filling even resembles what I can only imagine genuine unicorn snot to look and taste like, pure fantasy (the dreamlike sensation, not the drug). Does it taste of real raspberries? Of course not, but you're hardly eating this for your five plus a day, are you?

Mmmmmm..... Sweet, delicious unicorn snot, right there

I didn't buy the pineapple flavoured bar. I don't really trust a fruit that looks like it should be hanging off a tree, but in fact grows on some long spikey grass. Maybe another time.

Behold, the origin story of the internet's most controversial fruit

So there's your first Whittaker's K Bar review. Buy the raspberry flavour, give the other two a miss. Maybe we'll get the orange and blackcurrant flavours soon. Or maybe we'll get another Nigella inspired collaboration with Coke.

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