Chris's Balloon Animals of NZ: an infrequent series

The Baby food blog is dead. Long live Netflix and children, which is really just a poorly thought out pun referring to the act of trying to enjoy some time with one's significant other, possibly involving streamed media, but being repeatedly disturbed by your offspring waking and spoiling the mood. Whatever the cause for the title, the sad fact of the matter is Emily is old enough that she eats what the rest of us eat now, and I'm simply not game enough to try and review my wife's cooking for attempted comedic effect. So there may be food reviews, but this will now be more books, films, tv, and toddlers music (read innapropriate jokes about the Wiggles, sorry Wiggles), whenever I have time.

Speaking of which, does anyone else get that Wake Up Jeff song? Cos speaking from experience as a man of medicine, most guys don't need much encouragement getting their Purple Wiggle to rise in the morning (Sorry Wiggles).

Anyway, balloon animals! Do you have a favourite moment in NZ history that you would like to see lovingly rendered in balloon sculpture? Let me know in the comments! This is an offer that is bound to explode in my face!

In the mean time, may I present Gareth Morgan's high horse? Just like the real thing, it's having a hard job of standing up by itself, and will eventually end up a flaccid disappointment!

Rafferty's Garden: Spinach, apple, broccoli and pea

Today, I think I've finally stumbled upon the secret to making a top selling baby food.  Simply write down all the fruit and vegetables you can think of on separate pieces of paper, add a couple of grains if you feel fancy, or a few super foods if you feel particularly pretentious. Write 'apple' and 'pear' down on a few more scraps. Put all the pieces of paper in a hat, then draw out three or four. Mix them up in a big blender and put them in tiny little sachets. Wait for the dollars to roll in.

There is little other reason that a lot of these combinations should exist. I've written at length several times about the complete waste of putting traces of wanky foodstuffs such as quinoa and wild rice so minuscule that there is no way they can possibly impact on taste. Yet food manufacturers persist in these strange combinations that have no other business existing. Acai berries in baby purée is pretty much like having a parliament containing a member of a party voted for by 0.075% of the population, just for the sake of the representation of self-important cockatiel-lookalikes who enjoy wearing bow ties, and that we can have a pretty purple seat on the schematic representation of the House of Representatives, despite underneath everything him being nigh-on impossible to distinguish from the opinions of the rest of the centre-right.

Anyway, today's offering was one of these bizarre combinations, and with the grand contribution of 4% spinach, I wasn't holding my breath for a leafy flavour sensation.

Ingredients: Apple (70%), Pea (18%), Broccoli (8%), Spinach (4%)

Here we see the first trick in baby food manufacturing. We all know a true combination of broccoli and spinach would taste revolting, certainly to anyone under the age of 65%, and force feeding would likely be the quickest way to loose the trust of your 4-8month old. But people like the idea of eating healthy, and of giving their offspring what they perceive will be good for them, so these are precisely the ingredients they want to see in their baby's purée. So Rafferty's Garden gives them these vegetables, but in amounts which surely will have no impact on the taste of a food the contains 70% delicious apple. Really, a waste of space.

First impression: This food is really green, and as I'm pretty sure I've stated before, green is seldom a colour you want to be putting in your mouth in a puréed form. Pond weed again? Slimy bird poo? Whatever it is, the spinach, broccoli and peas are certainly making an impression colour wise, if nowhere else. Lowers my expectations,  if nothing else.

Emily's reaction: She actually really likes this one. Not as much as the traditional fruity favourites. Certainly nowhere near as much as Rafferty's Garden's other amazing offering, the Apple, pear and cinnamon. But half the pack is gone reasonably quickly, and even big brother trying to force feed her his lunch can't put her off.

Bouquet: Strong and sweet, this is apples on the nose all the way. Do broccoli and spinach even smell? If they do, I wouldn't want to smell them in a baby food, so the fragrant hints of Royal Gala and Red Delicious were a pleasant surprise on this one. If only it tasted this good...

Taste test: Initially, like the bouquet, the apples predominate as this pleasingly smooth mush rolls back down the tongue. However, as it reaches the back of the palate, the leguminous nature of the pea component lends slight nutty hints, which in her after the food has long disappeared down the oesophagus. This gives the overall impression of a smooth, but not sticky, peanut butter: not truly repulsive, but something that would definitely be an acquired taste. I had predicted the spinach and broccoli wouldn't make much impression past the colour, and it turns out I was right.

Overall: 5.5/10. An unusual combination of ingredients seemingly thrown together in a haphazard fashion give a slightly unexpected taste, which grows on you over time I guess.

Enjoy: as an alternative to mushy peas in your Friday night fish dinner

12 reasons your baby NEEDS to eat Rafferty's Garden pear and Superberries: number 11 will leave you speechless!

And, as promsised, after a short hiatus, here comes part two of a continuing series on stage one and two baby purées with stupid ingredients. Today: Acai berries! I had little idea what these (apparently small, black) nuggets were prior to picking this out of the cupboard on a trip to dinner with the in laws today. Who eats these things? Do they have the same powers as eating quinoa and doing crossfit, in that they make you insufferable for anyone else to be around? WTF are they doing in my baby daughter's food? I felt some research was in order, so I logged in to the font of all well being knowledge, the Global Healing Centre, and found these amazing super fruits have not one, not two, but TWELVE super benefits!

1. Heart health
Are you worried about the health of your under-one-year-old's heart? Of course you are. But how much red wine should you be giving them to ensure their ticker remains in tip top shape until they're able to legally buy their own? Great news! That need not concern you any more as Acai berries have been proven to be just as beneficial as a glass of Pinot a day!

2. Resistant to harmful organisms
This sounds promising, but we need some more info on what organisms these are.... E. coli? Sharks? 14 year olds with home built clocks? Details, GHC!

3. Aids in weight loss
Very important if your six month old has leg rolls like mine does, with baby swim lessons starting in a few months these berries will help her achieve her ideal rash suit body. Helps maintain a lower weight too, probably cos you're stuck eating tiny little berries and not much else.

4. Promotes skin health
No mention of what skin conditions this treats, but infantile eczema can be a bitch.

5. Helps with digestive upset
A traditional source of dietary fibre, though when mashed into a purée, how much of this fibre remains is debatable. Might be better off with baby oats, but why take the chance, given they're not officially that super?

6. Reduces irritation
If your baby is grumpy, colicky, or just generally gets on your wick, this could be the ideal answer! I feel calmer for having tried this already!

7. Improved cellular health 
With plentiful antioxidants, general well being at a CELLULAR LEVEL are bound to leave you buzzing, and you know that must be good because it sounds sciency. And it helps get rid of free radicals, which is great cos that Only Get What You Give song really grates after a while. (OK, that's New Radicals, but I'm gonna leave that line in anyway)

8. May help fight cancer
Though if you do have cancer, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy are probably going to give you a better fighting chance than eating sachets of baby purée

9. Anti-aging effects
Along with the weight loss benefits, this is likely going to be every baby's major concern once they hit the big 6 month milestone.

10. Energy boost
Every parent's primary concern, that their small child just doesn't have enough energy to continue causing the havoc that is part of their daily routine. However, a cheaper way to provide this adding stimulation may be instant coffee with a few extra spoons of coffee.

11. Better sex
No further questions, M'Lord.

12.  Improves mental function
There are great studies showing some early promise of boosting mental functioning in menopausal women eating Acai berries, and I'm sure the correlation is clear!

Anyway, with all that said and done, we need to make sure that Rafferty's Garden Pear and Superberries. actually tastes the part. The super berries alluded to in the name are not just the Acai (2%), but also blueberries (8%) and black currants (2%) (is a currant actually a berry? I don't know, this could be cheating.) The balance,  a massive 88%, is made up by pear. A thin, purple liquid on the spoon, this looked like something that would be quite pleasing to insert into the mouth. Emily certainly started with relish, but ran out of steam with a hyperactive brother taking precedence over finishing her meal.

On the nose, the blueberries and black currants dominate in a rich, deep and alluring bouquet. I haven't a clue what the famous Acai berries would actually smell like, so whether or not they add to this olfactory symphony is unclear. Certainly, however, high expectations were drawn for the tasting.

A thin liquid gave a slightly disappointing texture on first impression. Small, sinewy cares granules o pear pulp were quite apparent on tasting, and indeed, the overarching taste was of a sweet Winter Nelis varietal. Delicious after-hints of the berry flavours did linger, however, perhaps giving off the false impression of further subspecies- raspberries? Boysenberries? The mind played several devious tricks. Overall, in keeping with Rafferty's Garen's other options, a tasty treat.

Overall: 9/10. Delicious, and who can ignore those 12 key benefits to consumption: though at 2%, one would imagine you would need to consume a few packets to enjoy them.

Enjoy: with life, knowing you are living to the fullest, the fittest, the slimmest, the happiest, and the healthiest that you possibly can.

Heinz Organic apple, guava and berry porridge

I know, I'd promised no more fruit flavours, but dinner was underway by the time I was home from work today, and frankly I had kinda been looking forward to this one. Heinz Organic is advertised on Wattie's website as being like their premium organic range, but TRICKY... Closer inspection of the jar reveals that, actually, this product is made in Australia from local and important ingredients... So, save the planet by eating organic, but destroy it again with baby FOODMILES! Scandalous!

It's actually been a couple of days since I last ate a puréed food, my last attempt being the frankly disastrous Wattie's green peas and courgette, so I was eager to get back in. This is the first of several foods in the pantry containing cereals or grains. My only grain experience so far being the totally anonymous quinoa offering last week, I was keen to see if a less wanky, preposterous cereal would make more of an impact. Oats have been described previously as having mysterious cholesterol lowering properties, so surely they're pretty super too?

Contains: Fruit (Apples (77%), Pink Guava (6%), Blueberries (2.4%), Blackberries (2.4%), Raspberries (2.4%)), Cooked oats (8%), Oatmeal

I'm going to call it before eating, the guava is not in this for flavour, but similar to the quinoa, is present as a wanky middle-class enticing status ingredient. I'm not sure I've ever seen a guava in my local supermarket, much less eaten one, but I reckon you could get a similar flavour out of this with an extra 6 percent apple. 

Similarly to Only Organic, Heinz Organic put an asterisk next to each of their ingredients sourced organically. In a point of difference, however, every ingredient in this Heinz Organic product has an asterisk next to it, somewhat ironic given the Only Organic name. More ironic than rain on your wedding day.

First impression: This is not a purée, it is labelled as a mash. I think that means it is allowed to have lumps in it. This food is a deep pink in colour. Now, as I said, I'm not a guava expert, and judging by the picture on the jar, this pink MAY JUST be the colour of guava, but I'm sure a similar colour could also have been made using a combination of the apples and raspberries within. Still, a fun looking colour to ingest, and the small lumpy oaty nuggets promised an exciting in-mouth experience was forthcoming.

Emily's reaction: As I write this, Emily is doing her best to loudly wake the fish that lies motionless at the bottom of our fish tank. It is surprising, therefor to know that not half an hour ago, she was lunging hingrily at the spoon from which I was attempting to taste this food. This was by some distance the biggest jar of food we had attempted to feed Emily, by the time I got home from work it was mostly empty. I'm unsure whether the guava was apparent to Emily, however.

Bouquet: Three elements predominate on the nose. First off, not surprising considering the 77 percent content, apple tones delicately dance their way through the turbinates and towards the olfactory nerve head. These are followed by generous hints of both banana and raspberry, pleasant and sweet, and enticing. I don't know what a guava smells like, I assume it's not present though.

Taste test: I had expected the soggy, soft, mushed oat sensation to be unpleasant before tasting, but I was in for a surprise. The nuggets clusters complemented the finally granular texture of the overall food substrate devinely, and proved not offensive at all. It came as something of a shock, considering the heaviness of the bouquet and the content in the ingredients list, that apple was not the predominant taste in this food. Indeed, berry tones took charge upon the buds: black, blue and rasp, with delicate currant flavours pirouetting around the back of the palate. The overall sensation in the mouth was indulgent. Perhaps a slight improvement would be made by adding some morsels of stewed apple or a similar fruit, but it would be too easy to be over critical of this food.

The guava, however, seemed once again absent from the experience. I am beginning to suspect that my belief it is to fruit what quinoa is to grains is confirmed. However, in that case, oats must be to cereals, as the humble apple is to fruit based baby foods. Somewhat ironic. Like finding a thousand knives when all you need is a spoon to eat this delicious offering.

Overall: 8/10. Being a predominantly fruit based mash, this was always going to score highly. Perhaps could have scored higher still had it ditched the guava in favour of more berries.

Enjoy: Spread on buttered fruit toast, with a cup of strong English breakfast tea.

Wattie's for Baby: Green pea and courgette

Much to Emily's disappointment, I've decided to leave fruit behind for now. There's only so many times I can enthuse about how delicious a slightly different combination of puréed fruit is. I will return to the fruity flavours: there's still at least one product from Rafferty's Farm containing Acai berries that will require careful scrutiny.

I've often wondered what this blog would be like if it were a flag referendum. I think the comparison is apt: both are vanity projects, perhaps have their own small followings, but in the end are devoid of point, and met with widespread apathy. That said, I think of all the foods I have reviewed, I think Rafferty's Garden's Apple, Pear and Cinnamon would be Laser Kiwi: widely loved, but a little bit too anti-establishment for the hierarchy to want to take seriously. Only Organic Cauliflower, Broccoli and Cheddar, on the other hand, would be aiming a bit too hard to please, but end up bland, and forced down our throats like a Kyle Lockwood design. And the other Only Organic flavour, the one with Quinoa, would end up as Red Peak, widely loved and shared on social media, but in the end a bit of pompous hot air with a hollow core of nothingness. I guess Wattie's Apple would be the incumbent standard of New Zealand, tried and trusted by generations.Which would leave another Wattie's offering, Green Peas and Courgette, being the flag chosen by Gareth Morgan, a bit of an unoriginal load of unpalatable, self important crap.

Contains: Peas (39%), Courgettes (37%), Water for cooking, Cornflower.

First impressions: Not good. Green is really not a very good colour for a puréed food, especially if you can see sitting water pooling in the surface contours at the top of the jar. I've used a cold sick simile already this week, so I won't use it again. But this looks like something you'd scrape off the wall of your fish tank after neglecting it for a few too many months. Not cool Wattie's.

Emily's reaction: From bad to worse. Unfortunately my camera was not close to hand, or I would have one upped yesterday's photo of a disgruntled face. After three spoons, refusal made it look as though the little girl would go to bed hungry. Thankfully, Mummy remembered some left over pear and banana from lunch, and order was restored.

Bouquet: Suprisingly, not too bad. A bouquet of freshly shelled peas hit a not unwelcoming nose, with the sweet follow up of a hint of courgette. After the initially unpleasant sight of this product, I felt as though I could happily settle down to taste it.

Taste: a most unpleasant sensation in the mouth. Unlike the hitherto smooth concoctions I had tasted, this was more a messy mush. Peas once again dominated on the palate, with only a hint of the zucchini at the back of he tongue. Surprisingly for something added only to assist in the cooking process, the water was actually the second most prominent ingredient. The taste lingered unwelcomed in the mouth, not unlike an overstaying party guest, and only a hearty draught of water would rid of it. As per Wattie's serving suggestions, I gamely decided to try this food warmed up. Even worse: after thirty seconds in the microwave, a warm, sticky green paste presented itself, adhering to the sides of the mouth. Maybe this is an acquired taste and texture: after thirty two years, however, I am no closer to acquiring it.

Overall: 3/10. The fresh green pea taste itself was not unpleasant, but the texture, and over prominence of water made this a disappointing and poorly tolerated dinner.

Enjoy with: Not much. Maybe if you're truly English and in to that sort of thing, a plate of soggy fish and chips.

Rafferty's Garden Apple, Pear and Cinnamon

This morning over breakfast, something magical happened. Something that made Emily go like this:

And if that photo isn't clickbait, then nothing will draw more readers to this blog.

Originally, I wasn't going to review Rafferty's Apple, Pear and Cinnamon. It seemed too obvious, given I had reviewed Wattie's stage one Apples yesterday. How could an apple food be that much different? How indeed.

The consumption of this food, however, does raise a thorny issue, that of food miles. Originally,I had only been reviewing foods made by New Zealand companies, the food manufacturing behemoth that is Wattie's, and the smaller, some would say hipper outfit of Only Organics. On the packaging, however, there was no escaping the bold proclamation 'MADE IN AUSTRALIA'. In these less than certain economic times, and with the warming environmental climate, surely we should be buying New Zealand made, and not food that has required the expenditure of who now show much in the way of fossil fuel to arrive on our fair shores? Sure, free trade, and the one would assume inevitable TPPA may mean an influx of cheaper, brighter foreign purées on our shelves, potentially at a cost much lower than our known, previously adored and trusted labels, but should we be trusting this, buying it at the expense of companies owned by Kiwi mums and dads, and further adding to the changing if our weather patterns? Certainly some issues to chew over, or at least swallow over, as chewing isn't really necessary with this offering.

Contains: Apple (60%), Pear (39.9%), Cinnamon (0.1%)
Great maths skills, Rafferty's Garden! No trying to pull wool over our eyes and having your ingredients add up to over 100%, like Wattie's did the other day!

Also, did you know some people will class cinnamon as a superfood? What is it with babyfood manufacturers and superfoods?

First Impression: I noted the apples on the packaging are closer to the eating varieties you would normal associate with a child's lunch, probably a Braeburn or a Royal gala, which gave the expectation of perhaps a sweeter product. The pear pictured appears  (haha, there's a pun for you right there!) to be a Packham, or perhaps a greener Doyenne du Commice, both firmer, juicier varietals which would be good for puréeing into a palatable product. Cinnamon sticks in an artistic bundle complete the packet art.

The purée itself is of a fairly standard texture: not too runny, but smooth in appearance. A pale yellow-brown colour was punctuated with darker flecks of brown, presumably the cinnamon shining through.

Emily's reaction: Well, I think the photo at the head of this column speaks volumes. This was eagerly anticipated, giant lunges onto the spoon removing the food before I had a chance to sequester more than a teaspoon full for myself. Certainly a strong favourite for Emily.

Bouquet: Strong apple flavours on the nose of this one, totally dominating over the submissive pear scent. A hint of spice lingered at the back of the nose. The bouquet was sweet and enticing.

Taste test: Simply delicious! A slightly thicker purée, but without the coarseness or granularity of other pear offerings. Although noticeable at first sight, the flecks of cinnamon simpy do not registrar by feel in the mouth. Again, big apple and pear components hit the palate immediately, landing a first round knock out blow, with a delicate hint of cinnamon capping off a simply devine tasting experience. The taste lingers tantalisingly in the mouth, without overstaying it's welcome.

Overall: 9.5/10. The only fault I can find in Rafferty's Garden's product is the distance it has travelled to be in our pantry. Taste-wise, simply clobbers Wattie's Apple out of the park. Six runs!

Enjoy with: Custard, a glass of a late harvest Muscat, and in front of an open fire with a loved one.

Wattie's for baby: Pumpkin, Kumura and Carrot

Two posts in a day! But first, an apology.

As I perused the packaging for tonight's dinner, it occurred to me that I had erroneously missed the possessive apostrophe in the Wattie's brand name in my previous posts. To be honest, I had assumed that this was a company belonging to a family named Wattie, and therefore multiple Watties were involved in the branding. It had not occurred to me at all that the manufacturer of this fine food belonged to a singular member of the Wattie clan. For this, I am truly sorry.

But anyway, I had low hopes for this offering, to be honest. The pumpkin content had me expecting another sloppy soup-like offering not dissimilar to the pumpkin and sweetcorn tin we had tasted earlier in the week, and I did not hold much in the way of expectations for the kumara or carrot shining through. This prejudice was further enhanced by the fact that none of the foods I had tried so far had managed to escape the sweet categorisation.

As an interesting diversion, I find it noteworthy that my spell checker insists on capatilisimg the 'K' in kumara. Perhaps the West Coast settlement marking the starting point of the Coast to Coast race has achieved more international notoriety than its namesake sweet potato.

Contains: Pumpkin (49%), Kumara(15%), Carrot (5%), Water (for cooking), Apple (6%)

First impression: the viscosity of this purée was much lower than I had predicted: again, my previous pumpkin memories were playing on my mind. Checking the packet, indeed water (for cooking) was amongst the ingredients listed, and perhaps had not quite dissipated during the heating process as had been intended. A paste was a deeper orange, perhaps more influenced by the kumura and carrot (nothing but traditional orange in Wattie' s, no purple carrots to be seen here).

Emily's Reaction: A mixed bag. We had just returned from her grandparents' house prior to the evening meal, and she had fallen asleep in the car prior to being woken for dinner. First attempt at a sitting was a disaster, with a few spoonfuls swallowed heartily, followed by much gnashing of bare gums and howling. An interlude of ten minutes of walking around the house ensued, after which her gusto for eating was restored, and. The majority of the packet consumed in rapid time.

Bouquet: Again, unsurprisingly, very pumpkins. However, this time, the pumpkin was balanced finely with hints of kumara, and perhaps a dash of the unlisted apple present. The carrot was, sadly, again absent on the nose, and perhaps was present in the blend only for colour.

Taste test: On first presentation, not as watery as anticipated. A pleasant soft, fine, puréed sensation the mouth. The almost half of the purée made of pumpkin was balanced finely with the slightly sweet tone ps of kumara, giving a delightful savoury experience. If all you have eaten is is a combination of sweet purées in the past, I can imagine this taste being a slghtly acquired one, but to the adult palate, goes down a treat.

Overall: 7/10. Finally, a savoury treat, and not as bad as I had feared.

Enjoy: Alongside your puréed potatoes and beef, and thickened cask red wine for Sunday lunch during your later years in aged residential care.

Watties for babies: pumpkin and sweetcorn

Back when I started blogging about baby food, one of the comments I heard a bit was 'why are you doing the fruit based foods, everyone's going to like them anyway. Do more savoury foods!' So today I decided to branch out into the adventurous world of puréed pumpkin and sweetcorn. What an adventure!

Contains: Pumpkin (64%), Sweetcorn (24%), Water

Initial thoughts: Had Warhol decided to paint cans of Watties baby food instead of Campbell's soup, this could've been his Mona Lisa. After plain apple and plain pear, this would be the most ubiquitous of the stage one range, a classic kiwi staple that I imagine would rival only baked beans as one of Watties' top grossing products. On opening the can, a gelatinous ochre mass greets the eye, not dissimilar to a slightly discoloured lemon curd, if you will.

Emily's reaction: I missed Emily's feeding time due to working late. However, I am reliable informed that once she was distracted from the rampaging toddler brother, it went down a treat. A small coating at the bottom of the can is all that is left for my testing.

Bouquet: Not surprisingly given the ingredients, pumpkin features predominantly on the nose. A strong, sweet scent, most likely raw, or lightly cooked and mashed at best, certainly not oven roasted. The sweetcorn remains disappointingly in absentia, hoping to be discovered on tasting.

Taste test: Once spooned out and spread around a plate, the gelatinous glop originally encountered disperses to reveal a slightly coarse purée, with small sinews evident within the substrate. However, the solid elements are not evident within the mouth, and the food glides down the tongue smoothly. Again, the taste is overwhelmingly pumpkin, sweet and strong, with initially dissapointingly little sweetcorn. However, after holding in the mouth for thirty seconds, the maize elements do reveal themselves, but perhaps linger on the taste buds slightly too long for my liking: the flavour remained for ten minutes after my ingestion. Unsurprisingly, the third ingredient, water, does not feature heavily at all on the palate.

Overall, this took me back to the concentrated pumpkin soups of my childhood, which I would enjoy the anticipation of consuming, but then leave long enough that they would go cold. However, because my parents had paid good money for this soup, they were going to be damned if I didn't finish it.

Overall: 5.5/10. I feared the savoury, however the sweetness gifted by the pumpkin makes this a palatable, if slightly in your face offering.

Goes well with: A pinch of black pepper mixed in to season. To drink, water (tap), the size of the pumpkin flavours would overpower the nuances of a more delicate beverage.

Watties for baby: Apple, peach and mango

Have you ever wondered what your baby's food tastes like? I know have, so I decided to do something revolutionary today and I tasted it, and it was amazing! So much so that I felt I needed to let other parents know what they were missing out on! Over the coming weeks and months, as my six month old graduates from stage one purée, on to firmer solids, formula, and what not, I'll endeavour to keep up with the play and have whatever she's having. Hell, if my two and a half year old picks up something interesting, I'll try grab a bite of that, too. Like stealing candy from babies, except with mushed up fruit, vegetables, grains, dairy products and shit. So, without further ado, tonight this little monster: 

Is eating this stuff:  

Contains: Apple (72%), Peach (14.9%), Mango (13%), vitamin C

First impressions: a safe start, I know Emily has eaten this without too much bother in the past. Three fruit, all of which I would eat in the native form, surely it's going to be at least palatable?

Emily's reaction: loved it. Had just woken up, and was particularly unhappy about having done so, so attempted to placate with food on the basis that it's the quickest way to my heart. The novelty of eating faced some strong competition from staring at the dog initially, but focus was quickly redirected. Chugged down, and ate the whole thing except for two teaspoons, which were surrendered to Dad for tasting purposes. Emily was not pleased by this at all.

Bouquet: The smell of this more than anything else made me think that tasting baby food would be a good idea to try. A pleasant, floral bouquet, with strong hints of mango particularly lingering on the nose.

Taste test: a smooth, almost fluid texture, not unlike a slightly thickened chocolate milkshake, but with a different flavour. Apple fans beware, the apple appears to be only here as a base to bulk out the product, with the taste being nigh on non-existent. The mango, once again, is the overpowering component, with quite a pleasing peach aftertaste lingering on the palate.

Score: 7/10, a pleasant bouquet leads you in, but the mango tones tend to overpower.

Would go well with: a chilled Chardonnay, or a light lager, on the deck on a lazy summer's day.